我就像困兽 找不到笼的钥匙
我就像幼虫 冲不破蛹的束缚

我 迷惘
我 无奈

谁来给我钥匙？
谁来给我力量？

I was very scared and felt like crying.
You don't look like you're in a good mood,
and you look like you're going to scold me
if i play wrong one more time.
Even now i am at home, i still 心有余悸...

I feel very stress and i want to improve...

Oh yeah~
my Fujiwara no Sai is back!!
Thanks Debbie and her boyfriend~~
lolx:)

I online for nothing, just want to come online before i sleep.
And i realised....where is my Fujiwara no Sai?
Oh my god, someone stole it, please return to me:(

I am a buddhist and today i went to church? For what sia, lolx! Actually i can reject my friend when he asked me to go, but i just wanna know more about other religion, so i go! It's a good experience for me, i know christianity better now.
I'm not a free thinker, but i rather say i'm a sociologist. I like to see things in a completed picture. So i believe in many things, indeed is everything. Not just Buddha, i also believe there is God, Allah. Is just that i choose to believe what Buddha said and follow Buddha, so it is quite hard for non-free thinkers to change their religion. But then religious topic is quite sensitive, shall end here.
But one last thing to say is, do you understand what i mean when i said i'm a buddhist? If i ask you to go to temple to 烧香拜佛 even though i know you are a christian, what will you feel?

Before i left and headed down to Changi General hospital to visit my cousin, those peoples who i met at the church prayed for him. All of you are very kind, thanks lot:)

tell or don't tell
care or don't care
mind or don't mind
doesn't matter
but still matter, if not, this post won't exist.
are you the building that i wanna build?
or am i not the pond that you wanna swim?
i'm losing in the jungle, i am afraid of the unknown,
i am scared of the darkness.
my angel, please give my your wings
i would like to fly.
i would like to leave this world which i don't belong to.
my angel, i miss you...

Oh my god~~ i love my sister so much!!
she is so talented in cooking or baking....
the cookies that she make can be sold le, so delicious!!!
She is only sec 3, but she is very experienced.
And i everytime just waiting for the food, haaHA~~
I admit, i am very lousy in cooking...everytime get scolded by her...
hmmm.....cannot stop eating the cookies....
At the first place i thought my mum bought it from shop,
can't believe i got such pro sister....
I'm fortunate!!!

Believe lies

Is lie = joke?
I realised human always explain their behavior as joking when they are actually lying.
Joke is something that make people happy or feel fun by telling a story.
Lie is something that make you feel fun by fooling your friends.
See the difference?
Everyone will have fun when you tell a joke, but only you will have fun when you tell a lie.
Okay maybe your friend will also laugh when they know they are cheated, but the reason that make them laugh will include embarrassment also.
Well, i have this friend, below is our conversation:
HE: you need to know me more then , i'm only serious on rare occasion
ME: then you also need to know me more then, i'm only not serious on rare occasion
HE: my my , you live a tough life then
ME: you live a crazy life then
What i wanna say from this conversation is that,
is people like me will have a boring life of being serious?
Well, i dun think so....
Next:
ME: what a petty boy..
HE: what a stupid girl
HE: believe everything i say ..
Okay, please dun misunderstand anything, we were talking about when is his birthday and that's how this conversation come out. He was trying to make me believe that his birthday is on 15th on February when he wanted to celebrate his birthday on 11th of January. Indeed his birthday is on 15th of January.
Actually i did suspect his birthday is on January because normally people won't bring forward their birthday celebration for a month. But after his crap explanation, i noob, idiot, stupid go and believe him...
Well, you know what. I always believe people no matter what they say.
I dunno why people must lie?
My dumb record is 3 times! My cousin use the same lie to cheat me and make me believe him for 3 times, xianzzz...
I'm not stupid or innocent, just that i did not expect people will lie upon an unnecessary thing.
So i will just believe, i always expect what i heard is true.
But human will always learn from experience, i learn to cheat my friends also:)
However, i think believe people is a bad habit:(
Even though i feel my friends maybe cheating me, i will still choose to believe he/she.
Unless got a person down there tell me that my friend is lying, i will then dun believe.
Because i choose to believe the person who tell me my friend is lying!!
Hmmm....sounds confusing...
Never mind, so what is life?
With these lie in our life, what is life for?
Can't human don't lie and tell truth?
I believe very hard....LOLX

Oh my god, why am i reaching home so early?
Normally i will stay at school until library close, then go back home.
But today i am just too tired...
This morning lecturer asked me what is T(t)?
What the hell is that? Temperature transfomer?
I can predict that this sems is going to be very tough!!!

Actually i just came back from Tampines interchange, went to top up ez-link card.
But that wasn't my main purpose, i went there for my dear... WAFFER~~
I wish to have it since tuesday, that's why i had supper with Fee Boon on tuesday night.
Although we said we wanna diet, lolx!!

Anyway, the most thing i had done today was 打鼓, but not really打鼓, was 打桌子，打大腿.
The rythm i played, i myself also dunno what is that, one thing for sure is, yesterday marc taught until wanna die. Salvo mates~~ BEWARE!!!

I am so tempted to play drum!!!
And someone hm kia si(不知死), let me hear the drum sounds, then asked me: High bo?
Walao eh, how can you ask salvo people that kind of question when the day is not salvo day...
oh my god... i wanna play drum...=p

I'm at TP Appiled Science school computer lab right now, lolx
so fun~~ blogging in school's comp lab, cool right!!
I am just too free and have nothing to do...

Slack when i still can, the time after will be super busy...
And i dunno what did Christopher Chor teach today morning:(
But the japanese tutorial was fun, Shigeta san was like teaching kindergarden kids.
Shigeta san: Konichiwa, dozo.
Class: Konichiwa~~
Shigeta san: Ii desu ka, dozo.
Class: Ii desu ka~~
But different class with Cheryl, sad:( 老公~~

And i will get started to work at library today, at 5pm...feel abit excited:>

Before i go to sleep, i wanna say something...
This is the first time got people cry on my shoulder. But anyway, i will always lent you my shouder when you need...
My dear lynette^^

Still got how many days?
Still got 44days....
What am i talking about?
Ya, you are correct. I'm talking about TP Rawks~~~
And our salvo's performance....
Actually i was surprised that i am in the performance, so anyway, i will do my best.
And i hope everything will be fine, anything that i am worried about will be settled before the performance.
SALVO~~let's chiong!!!
And i think what marc mentioned during briefing quite true,
we were quite noisy, 动鼓、动鼓、动鼓！
and move drum very slow, 讲话、讲话、讲话！
anyway, salvo is a family, let's improve together!

Today went to watch "'Butterfly Lovers", it is sucks! When the two leading roles are dying, the cinema is full of laughter, what the hell right?
We were watching the movie on 7:10pm, and we meet a 4pm. So we went shopping before the movie get started. And i bought a watch at bugis street, the reason being is, i SPOILED the watch!! Anyway, the watch is still useable, just that they cannot sell the watch anymore, theRE is some missing spare parts. Actually i was considering whether i want to buy it anot, so i am fated to get it!!
And the female staff was abit rude, kept asking me where is the missing spare parts, the spare parts is atually two small transparent thing, how i know where they go:( But i know i am wrong...and i deserve it...
But then the male staff is better, after fixing the watch, he said that i have to bring it home(in chinese). Better right? Never say that: okay, you spoiled it, you have to buy! So i was surprise by his attitude, he provided the good service!
Finally tomorrow is resumption of school!!! I have been waiting for so long! Wow, go back school!! I am happy:) and tomorrow Salvo also!!! Cool~~

Came back from Amanda's birthday party, i am very tired. But still have to blog first before i sleep. Nothing much to say, just feel that wearing my secondary school (Malaysia) uniform at singapore and take bus is very cool! haha. And we chat alot of things, so now i shall blog at my another blog, which is succuba's musicbox.

Salvo Chalet

Wow, just came back home and rested for awhile already. We had so much fun during the chalet. I think the first night was more fun, and there was a lot of things happened during the game "truth or dare". But i didn't take part in it. Haix, what a pity! Then there is this game, all of us have an envolope, then we are supposed to write something that you wanna tell that person and put ino the envolope. I was reading those paper that they had written for me on the bus go back home, and i kept laughing like a crazy woman...Well, there was quite alot of people call me BEAR BEAR~~ thank you Kat, that is because of you:> And got one person state that: though can be quite vulgar at times but she is damn sweet!?!?!? How can i be vulgar...but sweet!? Isn't it sounds a bit weird? LOLX! Oh my god! The person never state his/her name...Well, from the hand writting, i suspect that is this person...I will ask the person again...haaHA!! Later some of us will go to Amanda's birthday party...so tired, should take a nap now...

Lastly, Eric and Chia Wei, seriously, you guys are DAMN NICE!!!

Today is thursday, so that's mean later is salvo chalet! Yeah, feel so excited now, haaHA~~ Well, salvo briefing was terrible just now. We stayed at studio 4 until nearly 11pm, so late!!! And i waited until i was hungry until i was not hungry until i was hungry again until i was not hungry again until i was damn HUNGRY!!! Oh my god, i was very hungry and tired, so after i reached home, i just ate whateva i grabbed...Actually i don't like to eat very late, it will make me fat. And also i will 肚子胀风. And i feel it now...sianz.....

guys sucks

Well, today i planed to watch movie with my cousins. But when we were at the cinema, we realised that all of the movies seem not nice. So we went shopping, haaHA! Then came back home with nothing, cause we didn't buy anything....And i am not feeling this whole day, because i have gotten a sore throat. And because of the unfairness also...

This world is so unfair, especially to girls...
Why must girls have to bear the discomfort or even the pain every month?
Why must girls have to bear the pain when giving birth?
Why must girls have to bear the discomfort during pregnancy?
Why must girls have to bear the pain during the first sexual act?
Why must girls have to be virgin when she get married?

And...when girls are suffering,
guys don't need to bear anything,
guys enjoy and get the profit!
So.......................................................GUYS SUCKS!!!!!!

wanna try to cross road blindfold?

Today went out with salvo mates again. Our task is to surprise Neo. Met them at Dhoby Ghaut mrt station at 12noon. Then went to Plaza Singapura to collect birthday cake, and headed down to Fish & Co. When all of us were there, Big Charmaine went to bring Neo come....blindfolded him and brought him there actually. LOLX!! It is super funny when you see a person is CROSSING ROAD BLINDFOLD. Super nice experience!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NEO~~

Let's do a summary of my 7 weeks holiday.....
1st week
monday until wednesday i zo bo(do nothing)
thurday: had outing with salvo ppl, went to ecp
friday: had an interview at tp's library then went to work
weekends: worked
2nd week
monday and wednesday: salvo practice
friday and weekends: worked
tuesday: had outing with salvo ppl again, had buffet at sakae sushi
thursday: zo bo again
3rd week
sunday: worked
monday and wednesday: salvo practice
tuesday: went to Simlim to buy webcam then headed down to my cousin's house to help him install
thurday until saturday: went to my aunt's funeral
saturday 1pm: immediately CHIONG back to malaysia, i miss home~~
4th week
slacked at home, met with friends, played drum....zo bo also
5th week
sunday: zo bo at malaysia
monday: purposely came singapore to attend salvo practice
tuesday: went bugis street with my best friends
wednesday and thurday: zo bo
friday: salvo practice
saturday: went back to malaysia to attend wen shan's wedding banquet
6th week
sunday until tuesday: zo bo
wednesday: got something in the morning, so reach singapore at 2pm, then straight away rush to salvo practice
thursday: signed some document at tp's human resourse and i saw meng soon at bus stop
friday: went to sing at 7th lounge with my cousins
today: went to bedok central and bugis street with my cousin

Conclusion: my holiday was quite fun but there is alot of ZO BOsss, so also very boring...and i keep going to tp's website and sign in to check schedule for this coming semester. I had never wished to go back to school so much. Oh my god, i think i have gone crazy!! I miss the busyness: project, lecture quiz, tutorial quiz, lab....haaHA!!!

Ohya, by the way, i think i will get started to work at tp's library next monday....hope i can cope schoolwork, part time job and salvo when the new sems start:)

Wednesday traning was tiring but manageable. However, i feel stress...now we only finish 玄, but senior had completed 4 scores at this time last year. Are we too slack? I don't know, I only know that we need to speed up. Like what Marc said during briefing, when next batch junior join Salvo, and we only know 1 score, how are we going to teach them? If until that time we are still stuck at 玄...then the situation will be like长江后浪推前浪，前浪死在沙滩上。We will die on the beach, LOLX=p, so i hope we can finish other scores faster, not only faster but nice also. 我可不想死在沙滩上！！Let's 加油~~加油~~加油~~

Wen Shan's wedding banquet

Yesterday was Wen Shan's wedding banquet, alot of secondary school friends came back from Singapore, Johor Bahru and other places to attend the banquet. It's been a long time since we graduate. So we took alot of pictures, and the banquet ended at 11pm which supposed to end at 10pm, lolx, and her husband waited for us at a corner, so pathetic! haaHA~~ And see how evil and naughty are we, all of us asked them to kiss, FRENCH KISS!! before they leave. But they didn't because my friend is too shy, what s pity...lolx!! They end up kissed for 5 seconds only.
Well, heard some of them drank until very high, but i didn't. I only drank one small portion from my glass which full with Carlsberg, i wasted it:( haix...but i finished my 7-up mixed Martel, very nice:>
Then after that was our "yam cha" section, actually this section is just for us to have a chat, because we rarely meet. And i don't know how long we chatted at the coffee shop which we went, the thing is, 7 of us went to Sinng's house to chat AGAIN when others were going back home. Well, they are Sinng, Wen, Pin, Yuan, Qian, Hong and me. Best Friend Forever, Yay~~ And at her house, the night view was so nice, looked at the stars, ohya and i saw meteor, but i had no enough time to make a wish, too fast man!! And listened to the moisquito's voice, arghhh, they are very irritating. Final of the finally, i went back home at 3:30am this morning...
Wen Shan is the first of us who get married, don't know who will be the next...

Finally went back to studio 4 on monday. Well, i was really excited when i played drum with salvo's people but Marc looked so fierce and kept shaking his head. I know he is disappointed, some more the performance is coming soon...but i believe we can make it!! Let's GAMBATTE~~ After practice, we went to have dipper as usual. Well, i actually don't really understand what they had talked about, just be a good listener. And i don't want to spoil their mood by asking so many questions, so just be a listener. Today is Mei Huang's birthday, going out le, haaHA bye!